How to Give Advice

Please, allow me to present this thought.

Here's a glowing example of properly giving advice (these were both comments on the same post):Hang in there-AJ and I had it rough at first, our first full week together in person was a week AFTER we got married (long distance everything). That kind of relationship isn't exactly the best way to culture a clear understanding of each other. It was hard, and we still have conflicts over expectations today. But we've found when we are quick to humble ourselves and strive harder to support each other's needs and wants of fulfillment, that home can be a Heaven on earth! (Thank you Mandy, I hope you don't mind me using you as the example of how to lovingly share advice.)

How not to give advice:Honestly you don't have married life any rougher than anyone else, you just like to whine about it more. Everyone has rough patches and most people start off finding marriage is much different than they expected. You just need to stop focusing on the negative. Reading your blog, I find constant negative after negative, usually harping on your husband or his family. If you truly want to get over it, stop talking about it so d*** much. I'm pretty sure your obsession, and yes, you do seem OBSESSED with how much his family hates you and it ruined your marriage is not helping your husband either.Everyone makes choices. They made a choice to not like you. You made the choice to not invite them to your wedding. Now YOU need to make the choice to move on.

See... belittling of the problem does not help. Nor does being accusational of the blame. That's considered being insulting. Being understanding and genuinely offering of one's own experiences DOES help. I don't know why she expects people to respond to her with, "Oh wise one, how you've shown me the light," when she clearly insults them, blames them for the situation, and especially when she doesn't even understand the severity of the situation. She did not approach me in a loving "I'm trying to share wisdom" manner, it was clearly a "You suck, this is all your fault, it's not even that bad, so stop whining" manner. That is unfair and downright immature. I gave a very rational response. Read here:http://www.supposedmarriedbliss.com/2008/08/to-deleted-comment.html

See... very rational response to such an insulting comment. I figured she just didn't understand the severity of the problem and decided to provide some insight instead of insulting her. I naively thought it would cause an "I didn't realize it was that bad"effect. For my true friends, it did, but for others, not at all.

When there was a second comment left in the same tone and writing style as her first comment, but under anonymous instead, I had every reason to assume it was her and be mad because it was offensive. Not the part about seeking counseling, the part that belittled the issue at hand by referring to this as "psycho babble." She claims she did not leave that comment. Who is to say someone she knows, particularly someone she mentioned my blog to, didn't leave that comment therefore it was a result of her? And then she villianizes me for making anonymous accusations on my blog as to the type of person that does something like that. I had every right to anonymously (let's not forget that, I've protected her identity on my blog this entire time) point out that someone that leaves negative comments is ignorant and clearly needs to get a life and leave me alone. She got insulted, even though the accusations I made could have been about someone else, and no one here but her, and who she told about this, knew I was talking about her, and then she had the nerve to bully me into removing those accusations ("I'll delete this comment, as to not embarrass you, when you delete what you said about me." Which is funny really, because she did it anonymously, only I can delete the comment, not her.) I did remove them, but only because her sister asked me nicely. (Who volunteered to get involved but refused to hear my side of the story and yet, is mad at me, talk about issues! She wants it her way or no way. I deleted the accusations, what more do you want? I'll tell you what I want, an apology would be nice. How about an, "I'm sorry I hurt you." Not a prideful, "I'm more experienced than you are so I was just trying to share my wisdom." as the offending party put it in her comment on my blog.) In that bullying comment she proceeded to further insult me clearly pointing out that she agreed with the other comment left that she didn't write (which she admitted she agreed with it so does it matter who wrote it when she's just as guilty for being judgemental of me?). Then she claimed I twisted her words and that I reacted very immaturely. I left her anonymous, which means I did not attack her personally, and merely defended myself with the truth. Yet she took it personally. Right, as if that's very mature of her. She refuses to accept the truth that she gives advice from a selfish place. When the intent is to help, it looks like Mandy's comment. When the intent is to build up one's self at the price of belittling someone else, in the name of "helping" when it's actually kicking someone when they're down (especially when she's never said anything nice to me and begins her contact with me by a self righteous lecture), it shows evidence of a problem on her part.

As one of my wisest friends put it, "My guess would be that she has problems of her own that she doesn't talk about and rather resents the fact that you aren't holding it in like she is." True. So to the one that I speak of, I hope you find help for your problems. I'm sorry you're going through whatever it is, but I do hope the best for you. I'm sorry you refuse to understand my problems, but that doesn't stop me from having sympathy towards you.

Now that's the whole truth and that's all I'm saying.

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Thanks for nearly ruining the blogging experience...

So my husband is very upset... not about anything that I've said, he's now read it all (he'd check in once and awhile but he thoroughly read the blog recently) and loves how I've been journaling our life, how a lot of fun events have been preserved, comments from friends, and how blogging has given me an outlet for my frustrations when things are particularly tough.... and no, he doesn't see anything wrong with that. He's not ashamed of what his family has done (furious yes, ashamed no, used to be, but not anymore as he's taking his power back from it), because if he were the emotional abuse would live on and win.

What him and I both don't understand is why other people, that have nothing to do with us and don't even know us, have such a hard time accepting it. That's just weird. That screams evidence of a problem on their part when they are offended reading about our problems. When I read about other's problems, I either feel sorry for them and hope things will get better or I find comfort in not being the only one to experience that problem. That's what I was trying to do here, point out that if it's not newlywed bliss, that's okay because not everyone has that. And while I was at it, educate people about the horrible effects of emotional abuse. Apparently some people have had issues with me being this honest.

My husband loves my honesty. The reason he is upset is that he's afraid I will stop blogging. He's seen how good this has been for me to express myself and connect with my friends. He knows that I have to keep the blog half non-paid content, and he knows how I am, I probably wouldn't keep a blog if I weren't getting paid. And if it weren't for the advertisements, I'd make my blog private at this point because clearly the little snippets of life portrayed can only be understood by those that know the whole story, including actually knowing us personally. Anyway, my husband loves the personal content, like when I blogged about our 6 month anniversary, about how he's just like Indiana Jones, us seeing a live armadillo, him rescuing me from a snake, or my blog about us acting out our lives at the toy store, he's glad it's all there. What he doesn't appreciate are the self-righteous brats that feel like they have a right to nit-pick our life (and neither do I). If you don't like it, too bad. Move on. How would you like it if someone did that to you? And I know you're thinking "But I wouldn't put my life all over the internet," yeah... because you know someone would treat you the same way, so then why would anyone want to be one of those? Also insults faintly disguised as advice are not welcome here either. And me keeping my negative reactions isolated to my own blog are indeed a proper response, especially when the comments are from people I do not know, hence no way to contact them other than their blog. That would just cause a blog war. I kept the war on my blog rather than causing it to spread further.

So we shall see if this blog continues despite the unfortunate judging, ridiculing, and immaturity that has befallen it (and perhaps my angry insults were immature, but hey, why do I have to be mature all the time when clearly everyone else isn't?). Considering how much work I put into this blog to qualify for affiliate status, I'm certain the ads will continue at least. But I wanted a blog like those I favor. My favorite blogs are those of friends who are completely honest about their life. Doesn't mean they tell me (and fellow readers) every nitty gritty detail (or perhaps they do, more power to them), but making it personal by expressing how they feel, their hopes, their fears, their frustrations, their joys, and the events that illicit these feelings, make for the most inspiring uplifting blogs. Heck, one of my friends has a blog where she mostly complains, and you know what, I think it's great! It's healthy to let emotions out instead of pretending to be perfect. I'm most certainly not and even though I've had a lifetime of people trying to hold me to a standard of perfection, and me foolishly trying to achieve it, I'm done. I'm who I am, flaws and all.

If you don't like it then don't be my friend and don't read my blog. I have amazing friends who support me, love me, and give me quality advice (and tough advice is presented in a loving manner, not an insulting berating lecture). I have a wonderful husband, and while he has his own challenges (not many flaws, just this big, blood sucking monster on his back that isn't his fault... I'm more the one with flaws), he's the best man I've ever met. He's the only person I care to impress. So take it or leave it people. Truth is, I'm not here to impress you.

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Internet Freebies

The internet provides access to free tv, free xm radio, free audio books, free articles, and so forth. If only I had more free time, lol! The good thing is that entertainment costs are next to nothing when all you have to pay is the internet bill, which I need the internet for work, my husband needs it for class, and we both need it for correspondence, information, and let’s not forget, job hunting (though I’m very happy to be done with job hunting, working is nice!).

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Texas Gardening

One good thing about the Texas heat is the ability to garden pretty much year round. I've got new sugar baby watermelons and compact cucumbers growing. Cool, huh?

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Specialty E-commerce

Specialty e-commerce websites are the brilliance of our time. We can find most whatever we need or even want online. Case in point: superchargerpros.com. They specialize in super chargers, turbochargers, and nose covers. Each and ever product they sell from a Pontiac Supercharger to a Nissan Supercharger, comes with a full warranty. Their prices are superior to other new parts stores, and while used may be cheaper, the truth is it will cost more in the long run due to lack of quality. You can’t get better customer service than a full guarantee that your product will work! Why not amp up your vehicle when you can be assured that the parts will be worth it in the long run?

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New Rules

If you want to comment on this blog you will need to use your Google ID and pass the word verification (I know, I hate those too). Sorry to have to do this.

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Sanity

As my friend Amanda wrote:

I don't see any one "explaining things away" with any sort of "babble," psycho or otherwise.

I see someone who is embracing what has happened to them, admitting that there is a true and life affecting problem, who is in between knowing how to take action, and is reaching for some sort of clarification.

Abuse, even in an emotional form, is real and has visible effects. Like any other abuse, there is an abuser, and guess what, they deserve real blame. It's actually important that they receive blame because abuse can be a learned habit. I personally come from a long line of verbal abusers going back beyond my grandparents. From a young age I've actually had to call my own mother out on her behavior quite frequently. She says things without realizing them. She genuinely does not realize her actions as hurtful. When I tell her, her face is like a light bulb turning on.

Either way, this is a personal blog where the owner can post whatever she wants. I applaud her for not putting on a happy face and pretending she has the best marriage. That never works. It makes things a lot worse to never address them.

Therapy would be great, if it is something a couple can afford. If not, they obviously have to find other mediums of expression. I'm a huge supporter of writing. That's what I do when I need to relax. It is a great way to organize thoughts and clear my head, so I fully understand why you reached for the blog.

Hiding personal issues is always kind of pointless. They usually come out into the open in the end. Why keep your pain in when you can let others in who can give you support and help you talk through it. As John Donne so eloquently wrote:

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Thank you my dear friend. You are truly a woman of wisdom.

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Ignorance

Anyone that refers to emotional abuse as "psycho babble" is truly ignorant. Seriously, what kind of heartless person puts off such suffering in a trivial way? Clearly someone who has never suffered, has had a completely easy life, and has nothing better to do. You should be counting your blessings instead of insulting other's trials.

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So I've Got a Bully on my Blog

And needs to get a life! Seriously, if all you have to do is pick on me instead of living your life, then YOU'VE got major issues. Clearly there's something wrong. And you know what, I feel SORRY for you.

And if you don't like what I have to say in my blog... NEWS FLASH... Don't read it!!!

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People Search

Facebook, Myspace, and even the phonebook are generally good ways to find people you are looking for. However, sometimes even that doesn’t turn up the results you need. People Search is a website that for a small monthly fee provides access to information such as phone numbers, addresses, public records, etc. of just about anyone (a little scary when you think about it, but when used with good intentions this power of information can provide much good). I could see this being useful for someone running a business and needing to hunt down people for payments. It would also be good for finding long lost friends or family members. And I wish I had access to this when I was visiting teaching coordinator trying to find the lost members of the singles branch where all we had was a name!

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There Goes the Security Deposit

I spilled bleach on the carpet! :-/ Ugh... I thought I had tightened the cap but doing chores in auto pilot I didn't realize I had tightened the cap of the big bottle, but the not the cap of the little bottle. Then I put the little bottle next to the laundry basket, but when I moved the basket I tipped over the bottle. I didn't think it was a big deal until I saw the 2 or 3 cups worth of bleach spill all over the carpet! I grabbed the first white towel for the bathroom I could find and quickly wiped up the bleach. Then I scrubbed the carpet with water. But it was all too late, there are now white splotches on this beige carpet.

But my husband can't be too mad, he ruined the living room carpet with his work shoes. There are little black marks everywhere. So I guess we're even in the "ruining the carpet" contest, lol!

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Informative Web Searching

I’m an advocate of truth. I think people are better equipped with facts rather than rumors or just opinions. Medications are among the things that people tend to believe rumors and fall prey to fears rather than face the facts. This website about Phentermine Diet focuses on the facts. I’m not sure why people get caught up in negative hype (or positive hype for that matter) instead of researching for themselves what the facts truly are. We live in the information age, it’s as easy as looking up a website to obtain information. However, credible websites are difficult to find. We also live in a day and time where anyone can make anything seem credible, so ultimately nothing seems credible any longer. That’s why it is important to seek out useful websites with links to other credible websites that verify the information is correct. Use a little common sense and you’ll find the truth amidst the sea of information (or should we say misinformation).

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Longing for HGTV

I miss HGTV. I can get the watered down versions of the shows on the website where they take the episode and shrink it down to about 4 minutes long. What’s the fun in that? I want to watch all of the DIY projects, the process of painting and decorating, the selection of the cool new modern furniture, the whole shebang! I also miss how quickly I would learn how to do certain projects as well as retaining the vast home decorating and improvement terminology. I’m making do with free online tv, but I do miss my educational home and garden television.

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Visiting Teaching

Andrea and I made our last visit of the month today. It was a simple, short visit but the spirit was sweet and strong. We love visiting with Chris. She's a pure delight. We talked for about 15 minutes, including me giving a quick version of the lesson, then we took a dip in her pool with Andrea's little guy Rob (he is so adorable!). We had to keep it short since Andrea needed to pick up her daughter from school since she just started and only goes for 3 hours (I'm not sure if that's preschool or kingergarten). Overall, it was a good visit even if it was short. Quality over quantity.

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Surefire Saint

Who wouldn’t want a Surefire Saint? Wait… what is a Surefire Saint? It is a head strap (or helmet strap) flashlight. Isn’t that the coolest name ever for a flashlight? It definitely caught my attention! It’s actually police gear, which can be purchased on lapolicegear.com. So if any of you just so happen to be looking for something like that (hey, husbands are hard to shop for!), that’s where to buy it.

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Unusual Practice

When you're cleaning the toilet, do you ever feel like you are doing some unsual commode worship ritual? It's a lot of up close and personal time with the toilet. Especially when cleaning the entire thing, including the floor behind it (which would be so much easier if it weren't tucked away in the corner, obviously someone that doesn't clean bathrooms came up with the design). Maybe it's just me.

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Lighting Fixation

I attribute this fascination to the after effects of endless hours of home decorating shows during my sick years, but I have a love of lighting fixtures. When I was packing to move, I desperately wanted to bring my floor lamp chandelier (that I received as a birthday present on my 18th birthday) with me to Texas. I made the effort to take it apart, but to my dismay time and humidity had caused two connection components to adhere that rendered me unable to disassemble my beloved lamp. I had no choice but to leave it behind. However, my dear husband allowed me the opportunity to tour local Big Lots to attempt to find a replacement. Sure enough we did, and he gifted that very lamp to me for my 23rd birthday. Trouble is, we still haven’t put it together, lol! But in our defense, it’s because we had to get rid of the old couch frame in order to make room for the couch our friend will be lending us, which we still need to retrieve. And once that is done, we will know for sure where there is room for my lovely lamp.

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I'm Done!

I'm done with the antibiotics! Yay! I'm all better and now I shall be free from the medication side effects as well. What a relief!

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Touring the Cities

There is quite a history with Atlanta and us. We recently got to stay the night in that great city. Trouble is we were having so much fun there we missed our morning flight. Rather than waiting around the airport all day, we would’ve much rather been enjoying the city taking Atlanta tours. But we made the best of the situation and developed a “stand by passengers” club with 2 other people. It was definitely amusing. Though Joshua and I had the most fun as we explored the vast airport and found an art exhibit on concourse A. We rode the moving sidewalks up and down looking at these unusual African inspired statues.

Joshua and I want to travel more, once the finances allow so. I found a great website of online travel guides by Trusted Tours and Attractions. It’s giving me all kinds of great ideas. For example, in Anaheim you can get Knotts berry farm tickets or in Washington D.C. you can purchase tickets for a Segway tour.

In order to keep the ideas coming, I’m going to sign up for the website newsletter. And if you sign up for the newsletter by August 31 you will be entered into a drawing to win a $150 Magellan’s Gift Certificate. A chance to win something is always a nice bonus.

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TGIF

Last night, Joshua and I went to TGIFriday's to get a break from the apartment and have a little date. We had a coupon from the last time we went, one of those do a survey get a free appetizer coupons. It expired the 22nd so this was our last chance to use it. We got there around midnight (we're such vampires with our late hours) and got our free appetizer, two waters, and enjoyed ourselves. We left the waitress a tip and we had ourselves an affordable little date on Friday night.

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Car Air Conditioning

A fully functioning air conditioner in the car is a must in Houston. It is sweltering hot here. However, everyone has suffered at one time or another through a broken air conditioning compressor. It’s a costly auto part, especially if you need a specialty brand like a BMW or Mercedes AC compressor (we have a Chevy though). Fortunately, you can order an ac compressor through www.discountacparts.com for substantially less than through a regular auto shop. So when your air conditioner breaks, be sure to get it fixed for less by buying the parts yourself on www.discountacparts.com. Plus, they have free shipping on orders over $50 and a full warranty on every ac part they sell.

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Thank You

To my girl friends who are the most supportive, intelligent, and spiritual women in the world I'd like to say THANK YOU! I am grateful for your friendship and I cherish your loving observations and your kind words (as well as your less than kind words towards offending parties, lol). I'm very blessed :-)

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To the Deleted Comment

You know who you are that left a comment:

First: If my marriage is the same as everyone else's, why is that all of my fellow newlyweds give me a weird look when I tell them we have problems? They just make an uncomfortable sad face and then tell me how they have few disagreements (let alone issues) in their marriage.

Second: I would love to move on and leave the past behind. Trouble is emotional abuse doesn't work like that. The effects of my husband's family are deeply rooted in him. I naively thought that moving away would cause him to leave that side of him behind and that his true self, the good, strong, loving man, would emerge victoriously with only minimal struggle to let the old self go. Instead he is a mix. Some days he's the most wonderful husband, other days it's as if he IS his family with all of their destructive ways.

Clearly you do not understand what emotional abuse even is. READ THIS WEBSITE!!!
EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Under "Types of Emotional Abuse" Joshua's family has done every single one of them to him for the past 26 years. And yes, I've even witnessed events where it has occurred. It's gut wrenching to see the person you love more than anything be treated so inhumanely. Also see "Signs of Abusive, Authority Based Relationships" where once again, every point made is applicable to his situation.

These problems are not NORMAL. These are not typical marital issues that I'm merely whining about. If you think that, then once again, you need to read that website or even research emotional abuse yourself. It doesn't just go away if you decide to move on.

Third: When you notice a string of "negative" posts in my blog that's clearly indicative of a low point in our marriage. This blog is dedicated to the "Highs, Lows, and In-Betweens" not just the "Let's pretend we're perfect people so others will think highly of us" blog.

Fourth: When we're on our good times we do not speak of his family. During the bad times, I turn to my blog to vent of his family in an effort to minimize how much I do towards him (because you're right that it doesn't help him, hence why him and I generally only speak of the issues of his family when HE brings it up). When the bad times come it's the effects of the emotional abuse. It's like a weed. You pluck off the plant and the garden looks better for awhile. But soon enough the roots take hold and a new weed has grown. Getting rid of the roots is a complicated, painful, and time consuming endeavour. It does not happen over night, nor is it simply a choice to just forget the past 26 years and pretend they never happened. The consequences of his upbringing are manifesting themselves NOW and it is constant evidence of the damage his family has caused. Especially since it's only been 1 year since he moved out and only recently has he stopped calling them all of the time and allowing them to inflict their cruelty via phone... oh, yes, the brainwashing of emotional abuse is that effective that new damage can be done via phone, online, or postal mail, any contact is all it takes. And it took him a long time to stop the continual contact because the guilt they taught him was so strong he felt he couldn't choose to not talk to them. Though let's not forget how they've instilled their constant negativity in his head, there's no escaping that. Do you also see all of the anger I have within me due to them?!!! He's an amazing man. He's intelligent, loving, creative, spiritual, and fun. Unfortunately, there is this ugly disease within him (emotional abuse) that causes him to have traits that negatively affect himself, as well as our life together. At times he ends up acting like them instead of acting like him.

Don't you see it? The man of my dreams is right before me but his family has mucked up his divine nature. I hate that they did that and that hatred gets directed towards them. Who wouldn't feel that way?! But I feel helpless because I want to tear their heads off or at least make them feel at least half the pain they've caused Joshua, but I can't. In fact, he prefers I do not even speak with them. As he has said, "There is no reasoning with them. They'd only turn it back around on you." And that makes me angry because I'm the kind of person that talks things out. Heck, I can even reason with animals (my many years of cat taming) and they can't even talk. Yet, I can't reason with his family. That just kills me! So there's nothing I can do about them.... so I'm left with my unresolved anger.

All I can do is support Joshua as he fights this horrific cycle of abuse in an effort to end it so he doesn't become an abuser himself. But that's easier said than done. When he's angry with his family (if he talked to them or if he remembers something they did) he takes it out on me, not them. You try dealing with that. When he behaves like his family instead of his true self, I'm the one that has to point it out because he doesn't see it. And as usual, he gets angry and acts even more like his family as a result. Later on he'll cool down and then we start to get somewhere since he knows he needs someone to help him learn what behavior is emotionally abusive and which isn't, but it's a viscious anger cycle that he's dealing with and I never know when it's safe and when it's not. I will make this clear, he is not hitting me or physically abusing me, but there are times when emotional abuse creeps into the picture. The only example of adulthood he has known is that of his parents and siblings, who are all emotional abusers. Part of emotional abuse is to isolate the victim. He has few close friends, was discouraged from spending the night at other's houses, his family kept him from going on a mission, his family insisted he needed to live at home (so he did for nearly 26 years), and his mother always told him to not trust anyone and only listen to the family. So it's very difficult for him to learn how to be a good man and husband when he doesn't even know what that really means since he's never personally seen it. Sure he knows of people like that, but he doesn't know them to the point he has that example imprinted upon his mind. He tries and some days he gets it and others the instincts of his family kick in.

So don't tell me this is merely a rough patch and I'm whining. This is a serious problem and we are suffering.

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Paradise?

Am I the only one that doesn't find marriage to be complete and constant joy? I've noticed blogs with such happy titles describing their life (granted my sister-in-law has paradise in the title due to them living in Hawaii... though perhaps that refers to the marriage as well) and I find myself jealous. Not that I want to take away other's happiness, just that I wish I had a little more of my own.

I know that a lot of people have envied (or still do) Joshua's and mine relationship. If they only knew the whole story. Yes, it's romantic and at times happy, but it's also full of drama with plenty of lows.

I don't know about everyone else, but often I find marriage confining. I never expected to feel this way. I didn't when him and I were dating. I loved being in a relationship and to my surprise I found the commitment liberating. I no longer had to care about presenting myself to new people as "dateable." I had the safety and security of a committed relationship with a partner that loved me for me. Nothing is more liberating than that.

But for some reason those feelings changed upon marriage. I went from liberated by commitment to restricted by it. Though I don't feel that way 100% of the time, sometimes marriage feels like the most wonderful, blissful experience. But there are plenty of times where I feel trapped in this ongoing battle of everyday trials with no dream of a better day. When you're dating you daydream about your beautiful wedding day, but when you're married and looking back on that day instead, you wonder what do you now have to look forward to. When you're dating and you face struggles like missing each other when you're apart or whatever it may be, you fantasize about how one day you'll be married and it'll all be so happy, that every moment of everyday you'll feel that joyous feeling like when you greet each other at the door to begin a date; or the bliss of being on a date, or at church together, or even the comfort of the connection felt through conversations on the phone. Yet being married, it doesn't feel like that all the time. Sometimes yes, but not the majority of the time.

Yes, I realize that Joshua and I are facing struggles most couples don't. He's recovering from a lifetime of emotional abuse. I'm still coping with the aftermath (and sometimes present effects) of chronic illness. He was held back (by his family) from pursuing things like working, paying bills, heck... even cooking, so he's learning a lot and it's not easy on him. I had a lot of set backs myself due to my illness (though as weird as this may sound, Joshua suffered more set backs than I did, due to his family). Also we immediately moved 1400 miles away from all of our friends and family; which was good to get away from his family, hence why we did it. But having to make new friends, new work contacts, find new doctors, even new shopping, has been challenging. However, the good part has been that we have had to depend on each other more so than ever, which has strengthened our marriage and made our love grow. But in turn, it has also tested our patience and it has quickly made our faults more evident.

But as you can see, we are not dealing with normal circumstances here, so I guess it is to be expected that we wouldn't have pure bliss in our lives. I guess it's healthy that despite our challenging situation that I still desire for our marriage to be happier. The emotion of jealousy is meant to be a motivator, it is only evil when the emotion is used for harm. As long as I keep that as the goal, motivation for a happier marriage, then this is a good thing.

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Fresh From the Oven Cookies... Months Later

Earlier today (before I took my meds so I actually had an appetite) I had a craving for chocolate chip cookies. Then I remembered the bag of homemade cookies I put in the freezer. I popped a couple in the microwave and to my delight, they tasted fresh baked! I'm pretty sure I made these back in May or June, and here it is the end of August. Gotta love a ziploc bag (the generic brand of course) and a freezer.

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Mediterranean Wish List: Property

Retiring in the Mediterranean would be a fantasy. Nothing like warm sun and lovely beaches to soothe the old body and soul. Surprisingly, North Cyprus Property is relatively affordable. Who knew? It’s a fairly untouched area where turtles nest and the beaches are pristine, but villas complete with pool (plus easy access to the beach of course) are being built in Wellington
Estates. Doesn’t that sound like a dream come true to own one? Heck, I want one NOW!

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1 more day...

Thank goodness I am done with these antibiotics in 1 more day (one pill tonight, one tomorrow morning, and one tomorrow night). My stomach is not so great (my hubby just made fried chicken, which I love, and yet, I'm eating tortilla chips and ginger ale instead) and my joints ache. Not to mention not sleeping well. I'm just ready to be done with it.

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Cell Phone News Updates

Get the latest information and cell phone news stories at SJA Mobile. Curious about the latest and greatest cell phone technology? Interested in finding out what style trends will be seen next among phones? How about what the big companies have to say about their sales, progress, and new ideas? You can find it all at SJA Mobile.

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Eerie Conclusions about our Compatibility

When I filled out the survey about my husband I had to google astrological signs because I had no idea what sign he is. While I was doing so, I found info about compatibility between signs. Okay, I don’t believe in astrology and I don’t check my horoscope. But I was curious so I read it. I couldn’t believe what I read.

“You might be very drawn to your Capricorn partner's aura of strength and conviction. Your partner exudes an air that he or she "has it together", and this is very attractive to you.”
The irony is that’s EXACTLY why I fell for him. It’s too bad it was just a false façade, he really doesn’t “have it together,” but by the time I realized that, it was too late and I was too in love with him despite the fallacy.

Now get this:
“Your partner, in turn, is likely to be intrigued with your kind and hospitable nature. You actually listen to what he or she has to say….” That’s very true. Joshua found it amazing that I actually listened to him and respected him as a man (unlike his family). He’s always told me my loving nature is his favorite thing about me.

“…and your willingness to adapt and accept can be extremely attractive to your more disciplined partner.” Not applicable. I was not willing to accept or adapt to his family’s emotionally abusive ways nor his double life. I expected him to get out of the terrible situation and choose one life. Also, I’m the more disciplined out of the two of us… for the most part.

Their advice?
“If the both of you can appreciate each other's differences in expressing love, this union can amount to a mutual admiration society. However, when the chips are down, these differences might cause challenges. You might find your partner too rigid in his or her expectations from your partnership…” Now that’s true, we’ve had plenty of fights where I feel confined because he expects too much of me in this relationship without expecting the same of himself in return. We’re working on that.

“… and your lover might easily find your dreamy love nature too ethereal.”
Not true. I’m a very down-to-earth logical thinker so that hasn’t been a problem.

“This combination is a mix of Water (Pisces) and Earth (Capricorn), which can be very fertile. You will be more able than most people to tap into Capricorn's heart, seeing the warmth underneath the somewhat cool exterior.”
True, most people don’t know Joshua very well. I’m one of the few to see his true self and help bring it to the surface.

“Your partner will appreciate your adaptability and your acceptance of his or her commitments to the partnership and to other areas of life as well.”
I’m not sure what that even means… moving to Texas maybe?

All in all I found it eerie how accurate the statements proved to be.

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All About My Husband

1.) Sitting in front of the TV. What is on the screen?
Random YouTube videos are his favorite (which he’s watching right now … looks like claymation Star Wars something or other).

2.) You're out to eat what kind of dressing do they get on their salad?

He has discovered that he likes blue cheese dressing.

3.) What's one food this person doesn't like?

Sardines… but he claims to like anchovies.

4.) You go out to the bar.

And we order dessert and water like we always do. Best places to do so are Fat Canary and The Trellis, both in Merchant’s Square in Williamsburg. Seriously, go there, ask to sit at the bar, and then order dessert. It’s a lot of fun!

5.) Where did he/she go to high school?

Denbigh High School

6.) What size shoe do they wear?

I think a 10.

7.) If this person were to collect anything, it would be...

He collects everything!!! Ugh… But in the apartment he just has some of his Star Wars action figure collection. The rest of his stuff… I mean “collections” are in storage at his parent’s.

8.) What is their favorite type of sandwich?

A sub with plenty of meat.

9.) This person could eat __________ everyday.

Watermelon.

10.) Favorite cereal?

Capt’n Crunch

11.) This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing...

Pink.

12.) Favorite sports team?

He’s not into sports (thank goodness!).

13.) Who will he/she vote for?

I have a feeling he’ll be doing a write in for Yoda.

14.) What is their sign?

Capricorn

15.) What is something you do that he/she wishes you didn't do?

Get upset about messes he makes.

16.) How many states has this person lived in?

Three: Florida, Virginia, and Texas

17.) What is he/she's heritage?

Norwegian and English

18.) You bake them a cake for their birthday... what kind is it?

Yellow cake with vanilla frosting

19.) Did he/she play sports in high school?

Nope.

20.) This person could spend hours...
Drawing, typing lists, watching youtube, reading books, talking about trivia, or spending time with his wife.

Thanks Caitlin for the fun survey!

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Saving Money and Taking Financial Control

When money is tight it is necessary to cut corners and save money every which way. My husband and I have developed many ways of reducing our expenses. One tip: we always grab a few extra napkins anytime we eat out (or from his work when he eats there) so that we have a huge stack of napkins here at home. Not only do we use them when eating, but also for cleaning. Not needing to buy paper towels as often actually does help out.

Another way we save money is by keeping our eyes open to loose change everywhere we go. You’d be amazed how often him and I find coins. That’s easily an extra five dollars a year (hey, that’s dinner at Taco Bell for free).

I’m a financially minded person. I know the importance of financial health as well as developing and maintaining a high FICO score (ie credit score). BillsIQ is a good source for those of you looking to learn more about the matter. What the site also does is aid in the process of finding financial help for things like Debt consolidation. We live in a debtor’s society. We all have debt, unfortunately, but there is Debt help. For some it’s a matter of budgeting and paying it off as quickly as possible. But when it gets overwhelming the only Debt relief in sight is often to Consolidate debt. Bills IQ helps with that. Personally, I like the website because of all the financial educational information.

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Surprise Visit

My husband worked at Chick Fila today. He left around 3:45pm and told me he'd be home around 10pm. As I was cleaning the kitchen (which was a terrible mess... I love that my hubby cooks but he needs to work on his cleaning skills too) around 5pm I heard the door unlock and burst open. I had a moment of "What the heck?!" But then I looked around the corner and saw my dear husband in his Chick Fila uniform ... but that led to my second "What the heck?!" moment wondering why he was home.

"I made a delivery on Kingwood Drive so I figured I'd stop by," He said with a huge smile on his face, pleased with surprising me. I laughed and then hugged him. I think it's sweet that he snuck in a surprise visit during his unexpected delivery :-)

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Alzheimer's Memory Walk

I know a good cause when I see one and the Alzheimer's Memory Walk is definitely a note worthy endeavor. Team Captains are still needed to help lead this fundraising walk that will take place within 600 plus communities. Furthermore, participants are also needed to walk the 2 to 3 miles on a weekend this fall as scheduled in their community.

The Alzheimer's Memory Walk is an event to raise awareness of this tragic illness that affects primarily the elderly that causes them difficulty with their memory which in turn affects their personality and their relationships with their loved ones. This event will also raise funds in order to help find a cure (or at least better treatments) Alzheimer’s. Most of us either have a loved one suffering with this condition, or have a friend that does. We all wish we could help… well, participating in the Alzheimer's Memory Walk would be a start.

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Antibiotics

While I'm grateful to have medicine that will heal me of my infection, I'm not a fan of the side effects. I always get nauseous on antibiotics. I'm tired of feeling yucky already. I know, it's only been a few days but none the less, I do not like it. 2 and a half more days and then I will be done with the meds. Feeling this way is such a reminder that I am not ready to have a baby, because when I'm pregnant someday I will not have the energy to do as much as I do now.

Fortunately, I am definitely feeling better from the infection so by Saturday I should be healed and free from these unwanted side effects as well.

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Holiday Bargain Hunting Coming Soon!

I’m already starting to see Halloween candy and fall décor in the stores. The holiday season is around the corner! A little more than 2 months to Halloween, 3 months to Thanksgiving, and 4 months to Christmas! Not to forget only 3 months to black friday, which I am definitely looking forward to! Last year Joshua and I got such good deals at Target that we’re going to try again this year. Especially since we killed our vacuum cleaner due to our Christmas “snow fight.” So that’s definitely on the list. Though this year I’m better equipped for the bargain hunting show down thanks to blackfriday.biz. This website specializes in Black Friday deals and even how to skip the lines and get your items online (talk about convenient!). What I like about the site is that they have an e-mail sign up where they will send me a message when a new Black Friday circular is posted. I’m looking forward to comparing all of the deals in one place online rather than hunting down store ads, especially when I only get the local paper. I plan to make out a shopping list using the website so I make the best use of my time. Though if it turns out most of the deals can indeed be purchased online, maybe I’ll just do my Black Friday shopping from home. Either way, I plan to get the best prices and have fun doing so.

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Day 2: Bonfire Sunday

Sunday morning we got up for church, but everyone was falling asleep in Sacrament meeting. So Christina, Monica, Joshua, and I decided to go home and catch a nap after the first meeting. Especially since we had friends coming over in a couple of hours. We got our naps and then Alie and Ben came over!

Sorry we didn't get a better picture of them, but here we are hanging out in the kitchen eating lunch, cookies, and candy.

Don't you love my husband with palm trees growing out his head?

Here's James and his (at the time) soon-to-be wife.


Monica cuddling Demetrius.

Monica hoola hooping.

Jeff with some toy.

Monica jumping through the hula hoop as Uncle James held it. Cool photo huh? Thanks Mom!

Allie, Ben, Christina, Joshua, and I took a walk for the graveyard (Monica and Demtrius joined us at times) and got a chance to catch up with each other. Then they needed to get back to Williamsburg so we said our good byes but were thrilled with the chance to enjoy each other's company in person.

We had a family dinner and then decided to have a bonfire!

Mom feeding Monica chocolate with her marshmellow.

Everyone around the bonfire.

My best girl friend Christina :-) And don't you love her green converses? Not to forget her adorable dress!

James and Caitlin

Monica and Aunt Sarah (me of course)

Joshua and I enjoying smores.

Feeding the fire!

Joshua the Fire Master

Later that night Sara (Monica's Mom) came to pick up Monica. It was great to see her again! We all had fun chatting about life and seeing everyone. And of course we all stayed up much too late as usual.

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Vacation Day 1 (Repeat)

Flying View

The primary reason for our Virginia vacation was to attend my little brother's wedding. James flew all the way from Hawaii to attend our wedding reception, so we could at least come from Texas! Not to mention he's my baby brother, I wouldn't have missed it for the world! Plus his fiancee (now wife) Caitlin is amazing so I couldn't be happier for the two of them :-)

We figured if we're going out there anyway, let's turn it into a vacation. We bought our tickets back in April, back when our finances were quite a bit better and we did not know yet the bleak situation we would face during the summer. But the way I saw it, we could be poor in Texas or be poor in Virginia where at least we get to eat my parent's food, use their electricity, and get a break from the stresses of everyday life. Granted there would be plenty of vacation expenses, but we figured when would we get a chance to do this again? Soon enough we'd be working and getting time off would be tricky, so live it up now!

Day One:
We made the scary interstate journey through downtown industrial Houston to Hobby Airport. With team work Joshua maneuvered the car across 5 lanes of busy traffic in a quarter of a mile going about 60 miles per hour. Thank you mapquest. He drove while I watched the traffic and told him when to GO!

We got our luggage checked, through security, and onto the plane no problem. As we sat awaiting our plane to board, Joshua noticed I was wearing the necklace he gave me on our honeymoon. He asked me if I knew where he got it. He joked Walmart, then I suggested Target. Then he looked at me sincerely, "You really think I got that from Target? I bought it at the Temple bookstore." I cooed, "Really? You never told me." He explained, "Remember on our honeymoon when we stopped at the bookstore and you left for a bathroom break. As soon as you closed that door, I got the lady to pull this necklace from the display, ring it up quickly, and then I put it in my pocket. I bought it for you where we were married." And to think... nearly 9 months of marriage and only NOW does he tell me the sweet truth about that story.

Our layover in Atlanta was peaceful as we ate Quizno subs and frozen yogurt over the course of 2 and a half hours.

We arrived in Newport News around 9pm. We even saw the Coleman bridge all lit up from our bird's eye view. Our flight attendant was funny, she said, "Welcome to Newport News. Now get out!" We all laughed. Then the the other flight attendant took the intercom and requested our attention, "May I have your attention. Have any of you noticed that she used 5 different names for the pilot and never got it right once? He's pilot Steve!" They were funny picking on each other.

My Mom, my 11 year old niece Monica, and our best bud Han greeted us at the airport! Then we all went to dinner at Taco Bell. We made it back to Gloucester between 10 and 11pm and Han proceeded to journey towards his next destination. I presented Monica with a gift, a pink sparkly dress that no longer fit me but was nearly her size. She was extatic! We even found a shirt to put with it so she could wear it to church the following morning.

Shortly there after, my best friend Christina arrived at my parent's house to spend the night with me :-) Mom went to bed at a reasonable hour, but Joshua, Monica, Christina, and I stayed up until the crazy hour of 4am. We all had a lot to catch up on! Joshua and Monica watched Youtube videos, drew pictures, and palled around while Christina and I got some much needed girlfriend time to chat in person. Later that evening Joshua, Christina, and I had a nice group chat while Monica pre-occupied herself with Miley Cirus videos. Then we gave in and went to bed.

And that concludes day 1.... and yes, the lack of sleep continues from there ;-)

Sunset from the plane.

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Being Sick and Having Car Troubles

My husband and I have the worst luck. Let me tell you about our week...

Monday was fun... actually now that I think about it... that's a whole separate blog that I'll get to next.

Tuesday night I started my period, which was good because we're not ready for children, but never fun with the cramps (endometriosis makes it miserable).

Wednesday I went visiting teaching despite feeling pretty terrible, including my bladder hurting, but I figured it was my interstitial cystitis acting up (bleeding ulcers in my bladder, it's supposedly an allergic reaction to the endometriosis but is considered an illness all on it's own too).

Wednesday night I felt awful and my husband and I made a run to the drug store for some benadryl. Antihistamines help a little with IC so I figured it was worth a shot. It seemed to help, but the biggest help was that it knocked me out so I could sleep without getting up for the bathroom all night.

Thursday came and it was my playgroup day. I considered cancelling, especially since Dorie called and couldn't make it, but the new sister in my church Candace, who is on my visiting teaching route (love her, she's from PA so she's got that Easterner brash honesty but she's got Mormon girl sweetness all wrapped up in one), was going to come so I decided to suck it up and go to playgroup. It was a ton of fun and we had a HUGE turn out (6 adults including me and 14 children, plus 3 older kids randomly from the apartments) so it's a good thing I went. It was only a couple hours and just a 5 minute walk to my pool (hence why I needed to be there because a resident is required in order to have guests over... as if management would notice otherwise anyway, but I try to keep the rules). But once that was over, I was happy to go home and take it easy... near the bathroom of course.

Thursday night I started to think it was an infection. My husband took me to the drug store so I could get some Azo pills to help with the pain. Then he went to the movie theater to see the midnight showing of Star Wars Clone Wars with a guy friend from work. (He being a huge Star Wars fanatic even hated the movie, so I'd recommend you don't see it.)

Friday, 4am I get a phone call from my husband. "My car won't start so I'm still at the mall. Steven already left and I can't find a security guard." I climb out of bed (granted I wasn't asleep because my bladder was driving me crazy) and find the phone book to give him a list of tow truck numbers. I then e-mail Andrea to let her know that I can't go visiting teaching and swimming that afternoon due to being up so late and being too sick.

Friday, 5am my husband climbs in bed with me. He finally found a security guard, got his car battery jumped, and made it home.

Friday afternoon when I wake up, I take one of those at home urinary tract infection tests even though it says not to use it while on my period. I got mixed results, abnormal on protein but normal on nitrates. So then I'm really not sure if it's just my IC acting up or if I have an infection. Frustrating! I go back to bed while my husband gets up to deal with the car.

More Friday afternoon, when I get up I discover my husband at the car and our friends Mike and Lisa here to help (the ones we moved to Texas with, they live about 10-15 minutes away, we're so blessed to have them as our friends). They try to jump start the car to no avail. Then Mike calls the tow truck (and used his AAA membership to save us money, thank you!). They get the car to the shop and then take Joshua to work. I called my friend Dorie and asked her to pick up Joshua from work. She happily took on the favor (wonderful friend) and returned my husband home to me, and even brought me cookies because she knew I was sick. So sweet!

Friday night the pain gets unbearable. I'm at the computer trying to distract myself when I just can't take it anymore. I start tearing up. My husband then tries to talk to me about stuff and I'm responding very gruffly. At first he's offended, "Why do you sound upset?" I reply, "Because I am in pain!" Then he softens his tone because he realizes I'm really not doing well. I start to cry. Eventually I get up due to my bladder and when I come out of the bathroom I just curl up on the bed crying from the pain. He comes in worried about me. He suggests we go to the ER. "But how?! We have no car and everyone we know is asleep." I responded, obviously upset. He then suggests we call an ambulance. "We can't afford that! Even if we filed for charity they'd probably make us pay for the ambulance." I quip (poor guy... I'm such a mean wife when I'm in pain... it'll only get worse when we have babies, lol). He's then feeling terrible that he can't help me. Finally I get up and decide I'm going to take Azo, Benadryl, and Tylenol (because at that point I was running a fever too) and sit in a warm bath to calm my bladder muscles. As I'm filling the bathtub Joshua offers to give me a blessing. It was a sweet prayer assuring me this pain is only temporary and we'd soon get me the help that I need and to know that my husband is there for me. I then sat in the tub, rested while the drugs kicked in, and when done put on my pjs and went to sleep, the only true relief I could find.

Saturday we both sleep in (Joshua didn't want to set an alarm and risk waking me up when sleep was my only escape from the pain, isn't that sweet?). He got up before me. When I got up, he wasn't here. I called him and found out that he had walked the mile and a half to the auto shop and was waiting to pick up the car. In the meantime he wanted me to find a doctor open on Saturday, otherwise he was taking me to the ER when he got home. I found a local urgent care center.

The car got fixed. The battery had died due to the Texas heat. The mechanic said that this time a year lots of people come in with dead batteries simply because it's so hot that batteries go bad. Total damage $128.

Joshua drove home, picked me up, and took me to the urgent care center. Soon enough I was giving a "sample" and then sitting in a room. I told the nurse that I think I have a bladder infection. The nurse came in and said, "Wow! You've got a bad one. All of the level came back high. High protein, high nitrates, all of it." So that determined that. No wonder I was in so much pain! A severe bladder infection on top of my bladder ulcers during my period. Yeah, complete nightmare! The doctor came in a bit later and wrote me a prescription for some antibiotics and gave me some free samples of some bladder pain relief pills. He also gave me the option to skip having the sample cultured because all it would tell us is which kind of bacteria it is, which the easy way to tell is if the drugs don't work in 3 days to call and they'll get me the other kind of antibiotics. Cheap, easy. So that saved me $50. He also made sure to write me a prescription for an antibiotic that I could get a $4 generic for (he knew I had no insurance). So total damage at the doctor $145 plus $4 antibiotics.

What a relief to know that I'll be better in just a few days! There have been so many times I've gotten sick, gone to the doctor, and it's some strange thing that they can't help me with. Now I knew that most likely this was a bladder infection, but I was so worried it was an IC flair up and we'd spend all that money to only be told that there's nothing they could do for me. And I'm very excited to be done with this pain! And my husband is thrilled to finally be able to do something about this... though I will admit... he's feeling awfully guilty about me being sick because we know exactly how I got sick. Oh, yes, one of the joys of having a physical marital relationship, a bladder infection. A word of advice... don't get romantic in a pool... fun... but bad idea.

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Tea Tree Oil

Not all pimple cream is created equal. Before leaving for the trip to Virginia I read some advice online that said 2.5 percent Benzoyl Peroxide works best, but use lots of it. I did. At first my skin looked better, but after 2 days then it looked so much worse than even before! I’ve read good things about tea tree oil though, so I’m wanting to give that a try.

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An Over Worked Nation

There are ads for weight loss pills all over the web. I can’t seem to visit a website without seeing either weight loss pills, wrinkle cream, or some other similar product. When Joshua and I went to the doctor for me, we were sitting in the waiting room with an infomercial about a new exercise machine when we got on the topic about the obesity of America. We agreed that the biggest reason Americans are overweight is that we live in an overworked nation. Where people work too much and seek convenience and comfort foods. They would seek a healthy balance in their lives if it were first encouraged in other aspects of life. Other countries average 2 months of vacation time, whereas in the USA we average 2 weeks. We live an unhealthy lifestyle and it reflects in every aspect, including weight.

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Paintball Party

Movies such as “Man of the Year” starring Robin Williams and “Mobsters and Mormons” starring Mark DeCarlo have great paintball scenes that makes it look like so much fun to go out in the woods and shoot at your best friends all in the name of a good time. With proper playing apparel and safety gear (masks, chest protectors, knee pads, neck protectors, etc.) it seems like an excellent group activity. Who wouldn’t want to let out pent up aggression safely through a paintball gun? I once borrowed a friend's paintball gun (we'll say it was for target practice). It was so much fun! They're very easy to use, minimal kick, so even a girly girl can have a blast, well, blasting paintballs!

To get started with this activity, you need to find an affordable source to purchase all that you need, from a paintball gun (such as the Smart Parts Ion or Spyder Pilot), to CO2 tanks, to safety equipment (do not forget a mask!). Ultimate Paintball are excellent paintball discounters. Their website carries all that you need to get started, as well as what it takes to get more involved if you’ve been enjoying the sport of paintball for awhile. The prices are outstanding and include free shipping. Plus the selection is abundant. So who wants to “Play Rambo in the woods?” Sounds fun!

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Cake Creativity Gone Wrong

My sister-in-law Caitlin (my younger brother's wife) found the funniest blog and I just had to share. See:
cakewrecks.blogspot.com

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Use the Kiva business card to change the life of a business owner in a developing country.

I have a secret longing to be a business owner, or at least a successful business woman. It’s just something I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I’ve always made things and tried to sell them (I had relative success with my jewelry at the craft shows). However, truly running a business would take a lot more capital, know how, and energy than I currently possess.

When starting a business, first comes securing capital. In this suffering economy you’d be surprised to find out that actually business credit has been relatively unaffected by the credit crunch. There are numerous Easy Business Loans available.

For those that have the ability to pass through step one of the challenge of entrepreneurial venture by establishing capital, it is then time to choose a business credit card to facilitate the company expenditures. Why not choose one that gives back? Use the Kiva business card to change the life of a business owner in a developing country. Through Kiva.org loans and grants are given to those living in emerging areas across the world, including countries in Africa. This helps these small businesses to grow and that gets these business owners out of their low income situation and into a better life. When you use the card to gift a grant, Kiva will match your grant up to $200 per month. So if you give $50, they’ll give $50, so it’s really like you’re giving $100, for example. It’s nice to have a partner in your charitable causes. Plus the credit card has all the features you would expect from a business card, including a low annual percentage rate (APR) of 7.99%.

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Woohoo!!! 2 Job Offers!

So I kept trying and sent out even more resumes yesterday and you know what I found in my e-mail today? TWO job offers!!! Woohoo!!!

I'm debating with myself whether I should accept both and risk writer's burnout or just accept the one that appeals to me more (and pays better). However, the one that I like better starts off with a week long trial run and if they like my work then they would keep me on. Maybe it's silly of me, but I'm concerned if I turn down the other job that the one I like better will end up not liking me and then I'd be without either job. Though they loved the two sample articles I sent. Decisions, decisions, but at least I'm finally having to decide between good things!

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Getting the Best Rental Car Rate

When traveling by air it is essential to have a set of wheels when on the ground. Car rentals are necessary, but also a lot of fun! Though the expense is never fun. That’s why it’s important to get the lowest rate possible, like what my husband and I did last month when we rented that black Chevy Cobalt with its ultra sweet gas mileage of 31 to 38 miles per gallon. I’d rent that car again in a heart beat! But once again, I want the cheapest price. Checking the car hire usa website helps me to compare all the rental companies and see who really is the best deal.

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HELP! Burning Photo DVDs

I am trying to get all of the vacation photos onto 1 disc. It's about 1250 photos and 1.5 gigs. I have DVDs that hold 4.7 GB of data and yes, I have a DVD burner.

Trouble is, I can't get it to work. When I try to "Copy to CD" from Windows when looking through My Pictures, it gives me an error message. No details, just "Error Occured, Try Again or Cancel." So I tried making a data DVD via my Media Center. I know the data made it onto the DVD but I can't open it. I even tried it on my husband's computer and all it does when you try to open it is that it goes to a blank screen with no folders, simply nothing under the DVD. However, when I click Properties it clearly says there's 1.5GB of data on the DVD.

Does anyone have any advice?

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Payday Loans Online

Back on the topic of finances and Payday Loans, Paydayloansmania.com is a good website to visit if you need a loan. Sometimes you find yourself unprepared for car repairs or medical expenses or who knows what else. In those times it is necessary to come up with the funds. A No Fax Payday Loan couldn’t be easier. Complete the entire process online without having to go to one of those payday loan stores, wait in line, and feel the tension and embarrassment of “What if someone sees me here.” Keep it simple by doing the process online. That’s why I love conducting financial business on the internet, it’s much more convenient and I’d rather deal with a website than a judgmental person any day.

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Visiting Teaching Fun

I just got back from visiting teaching today. We decided to have it at Andrea's house and then have our visiting teachees Eliza and Candace over with their kids. There were 9 kids total running around, having fun, also having a few squabbles, as us 4 women got to catch up with each other, discuss the gospel and life in general, and strengthen our friendships. It was so chaotic yet blissful all at the same time :-)

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Credit Card Chaos

I’ll be honest. My husband and I have found ourselves in a financial nightmare. With employment being hit or miss our income has not been meeting our bills. The economy lagging has definitely impacted the job market making it much more difficult for either of us to obtain employment that actually pays a living. Month after month of coming up short has left us with credit card debt. It is amazing how quickly it adds up. We are doing all that we can to find better paying work and to work more hours. Our goal is to have an income that not only meets our bills, but exceeds them so we can pay off our debt and eventually start saving for our future house!

Credit card debt help is out there and even online. Bills.com offers ways to help reduce debt, reduce payments, and avoid bankruptcy. It is important to get help before it is too late. With all the financial services out there, there really is no excuse to get in over your head to where you ruin your credit score and your overall financial health. By visiting the website, you can find out what your options are to get out of your problematic monetary situation and work towards a healthy financial future.

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A New Mouse Makes Life Better

Especially since I'm no longer slamming my old mouse against the desk repeatedly trying to get it to work ;-)

I got my new mouse in the mail today and I'm thrilled to be moving on up from the ball type mouse to the new optical type. It's zippy and doesn't get stuck. It's a million times easier to navigate on my computer. My frustrations are relieved! Well... at least that's one area where my frustrations are relieved, lol.

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Personal Loan for Personal Financial Issues

Everyone likes to think they will never be in financial trouble. I know I’m good with money and never expected to be in debt (my husband jokes that I didn’t marry him for his money, instead I married him for his debt, lol). When faced with trying financial circumstances, a Personal Loan can help make ends meet until things get back to normal (job situation, unexpected bills, etc.). Finding personal loans for bad credit can be especially difficult, but Personalloansleader.com offers help to those that are often turned down at a traditional bank. It’s best to try to stay out of debt, but good intentions don’t pay the bills. It’s better to get a loan to make ends meet rather than ruining your credit score by missing your due dates on bills. Plus, as your financial situation improves, you can always pay off your loan as quickly as possible.

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Still Trying

So I'm still applying for work and hoping something comes of it. We'll see. At least I've got a few small writing gigs in the mean time.

Though I'm tempted to take some online college courses to plump up my resume.

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Personal Loan Money

Sometimes it is necessary to borrow money on credit. For example, we have a Car Loan that allowed Joshua to buy a car when he didn’t have the full amount of money up front. Thank goodness because it is hard to come up with the money when you need the car NOW in order to work. CompleteLoanSource.com offers a variety of Personal Loan options to help you get the money you need to deal with the financial situation at hand. Whether it’s needing a payday advance loan due to an unexpected bill (usually car repairs as I have seen), a car loan, or even a loan when you have bad credit and can’t get one elsewhere. As long as you are responsible with your payments, a loan can be highly beneficially.

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Empty Expectations

I sent out 25 resumes / applications yesterday and you know what I found in my inbox today? Nothing. And you see my frustration.

Sometimes I want to get a degree online to improve my overall resume. Maybe someday in the future once my husband's schooling is done.

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My Runway Picks?

I'm loving the 4th season of Project Runway! Who am I rooting for?

Kenley

She's innovative. She creates looks and shapes different than what is commonly seen. Plus she always keeps it classy.

Leann
This one dress below sold me on her talent.

I'd so wear that!

Suede

Go figure, but I like his style.

Korto
She's got a creative edge to her style that I adore. Also her designs are very feminine without being submissive.

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Beautifying the Bathroom

I have the plainest shower curtain (and rather ugly, no offense honey, though I’m glad you bought the affordable one… as if my husband reads my blog, lol). It is simply beige. That’s it. I found the coolest website to order shower curtains from: PhotoShowerCurtain.com. You can get any photo created into custom shower curtains! Talk about creative license, you can have a shower curtain of whatever you want. Whether it’s your favorite photo from the zoo, the autumn leaves you gleefully photographed last fall, the sunset you marveled at on your romantic vacation, or even a photo of someone you know… though that would be weird, but still it’s your choice. Full and stall sizes are available for order. So if you’re thinking about decorating your bathroom in a truly unique fashion, a custom shower curtain would be the perfect touch.

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I want a kitten :-(

It would be unfair of me to move any of my Gloucester cats out here to Texas. They are country cats and would not adjust well to apartment living. However, my Mom has he cutest kittens and they are just learning life and I can't help but want one! While I was there I fell in love with the little fluffy black one that has a tiny smudge of orange on its lip and an orange foot. She was wild, but I managed to catch her a few times. Apparently me catching her did some good because now she's a friendly little fluff ball! Though a black cat in a white apartment is a bad idea... but I still want!

Enjoy that little kitten Mom!

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Researching My Way to Clear Skin

I’m still sifting through various acne treatment options trying to decide what to try. I have tried Proactiv (okay, it was a generic version but same ingredients) and it actually made me break out worse! I’m looking through websites doing research and wow, there are a lot of products out there that claim to clear up skin. I have found that benzoyl peroxide works a little, but only when used in small doses. Otherwise it actually makes my skin worse. In the past I’ve tried salicylic acid and found it to be generally ineffective. So you can see why I’m having to do research, I’ve got to go beyond the typical and find something less mainstream as far as active ingredients. My hormones make my skin so bad (the very hormonal imbalances that cause me to have endometriosis) therefore it is exceptionally difficult for me to find effective acne treatment. Perhaps a more natural option would work best for me.

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Quality Brand that Cares too!

Babysitting sure makes one aware of the necessary products to keep a baby healthy. Heck just being a newlywed is enough to increase awareness of the consumer products necessary to care for things like health, hygiene, and grooming. Johnson & Johnson is my favorite long standing reputable brand. Their products are high quality so when they come out with new items (as they have right now) I am assured that these items will be healthy and effective, whether they be bandages, painkillers, or shampoo.

What I didn’t realize is that Johnson & Johnson is actually very involved in community causes. From protecting the environment, to financially assisting those in need, to helping find better health practices to keep people safe from illness and / or medical complications. I’m really impressed. I found this out on their website looking through a few of their videos. I’ll be sure to remember that the next time I’m at the store choosing household products and I see Johnson & Johnson on the shelf, and then in my cart and in my home.

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The Cutest Little Guy

I got to babysit the cutest little guy today. Of course, it was my buddy Jonah! He's now 18 months old and boy has he grown in the short time I've known him so far (about 6 months). Dorie asked me to watch him for just a few hours while her and Micah (age 4) visited Jed for a birthday lunch at work (his birthday is Sunday). I was pleased to finally do a favor in return for her (plus I just love Jonah, he's the cutest toddler ever!). She's the one that fed my cat and watered my plants while I was on vacation. Plus she brings me along to playgroup pretty often and will even feed me lunch (she's a great cook)!

I was concerned that when Jonah woke up from his nap and realized it was just me to care for him while mommy was away that he would cry. I was in the kitchen putting together lunch (Dorie made it, delicious!) when I heard him making some noise letting me know to come and get him up from his nap. I entered the room and said, "Hi, Jonah. Are you awake?" I expected the crying to begin, but you know what he did? He giggled! That's right, he giggled! Such a cute little guy! So I got him out of his crib and we went to play and eat lunch. He was happy as could be.

My husband randomly showed up. He knew I was babysitting and was in the area running errands before work so he stopped by. Jonah was a little shy but overall fine with Joshua being there. But before I knew it Dorie was back home, just 15 minutes after Joshua got there. Though she was glad to hear that Jonah was fine with me. Micah didn't like waiting at the restaurant so she's thinking maybe next time she'll leave both with me, haha ;-)

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E Bill Me my Mouse at Tiger Direct

I’m a huge fan of online shopping. While some items I definitely prefer to shop for in person (clothes, shoes, the like), I most certainly prefer to buy electronics online because I can compare the technical specifications side by side and quickly, rather than fumbling around product boxes at a store. My most favorite electronic and computer website is TigerDirect.com. They have incredible deals! I bought my fabulous computer and sleek LCD monitor from there. I have also bought items including flash drives, blank discs, and an MP3 player.

My mouse is wearing out (simply because I use it a lot) so I found myself back to Tigerdirect.com to replace it. I found a simple model at a great price that even had rave reviews (another thing you can’t find in a store).

I decided to try a different payment method. I chose E Bill Me. It allows you to order online without giving your credit card or debit card information. I simply checked out as normal but picked E Bill Me under payment method. Then E Bill Me sent me the bill that I paid through my online banking bill pay via my checking account. My bank then sent them the money, E Bill Me got the money by the next day, and Tiger Direct sent me a confirmation that my order has shipped. Easy! It’s a nice added measure of security against identity theft if so choose to pay with E Bill Me.

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Clear Skin Gadget

I am incredibly curious about the new acne treatment Zeno. It’s a device that runs a tiny bit of electricity to each blemish to kill it off in order to heal the skin. To many that may sound scary, but I used a TENS unit for 4 years that ran electricity through my back to lessen pain. Worked great too with MUCH fewer side effects than most pain treatments. So I’m not afraid of electrical medical gadgets, they’re actually safer than pills! It’s just too bad they’re so pricey.

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Stock Market Training Ground

Who wouldn’t like to earn money in the stock market? Someday I plan to make investments (first thing is getting out of debt though) with my husband. When you’re young it makes sense to jump into the stock market rather than playing it too safe with bonds and CDs. You need to take more risk because with the longer time to ride the stock market it will in the end make you more money. Though I have so much to learn. There’s a practice account available on futures trading that is a good place to pick up a few pointers.

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Alleviating a Wife's Concern and Husband finds Peace

My husband is registered for his science classes! Yay! And he even double checked to make sure they were indeed the classes he needed for his mandatory science credits. He admits I was right in my concern, he just wasn't happy about it anyway. But he got it all taken care of today so I have no reason to be concerned anymore. Now he's happy about that ;-)

Part of his classes will provide him with education online. It will be nice to save the gas and have him home to study.

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Artistry Online

Perusing artwork online can lead to the discovery of touching pieces that inspire creativity and emotion unlike before realized. Then there are times that the search is daunting with little reward and unwanted images left on the mind. Whatever the outcome, viewing an art website is much like visiting a fine arts museum from the comfort of home. Richard E. Williams and Park West Gallery I find to be a delight. His work is colorful and lively, with the portrayal of light cascading over the water life or floral subjects creating a vibrant yet peaceful effect. The Park West Gallery also has an extensive library of art (even available for sale) from other artists. They provide an eclectic mix of artistic genres, from florals to geometric modern to sketches and everything in between. For art lovers, or even those just curious, this site is a must.

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